As I like to do every so often, I went to observe my fellow MS math teacher. She teaches strictly 8th graders, has been teaching math for 13+ years, and is seemingly loved by everyone. When I talk to students about why they enjoy her class so much, they usually say, "It's hard to explain...she's just so nice." I usually prod, on trying to gain some insight into the majesty of this beloved educator, but never do I get anything concrete...it all comes back to "she's just so nice".
And I guess I don't have to look any further..."She's just so nice" is the secret, it is the answer. No matter how good a lesson may be, how many best practices you employ, how many hours of feedback you give, if your students don't perceive you as "nice," and I think that to mean "caring," it's all for not. Relationships are so important to people, that without them very little learning can take place.
Unfortunately for me, I have to try extra hard for people to perceive me as "nice", let alone "so nice". By nature, I am an introvert with high levels of self-doubt and anxiety. These attributes are often construed by others, including my students, as detached and uncaring, but the that couldn't be farther from the truth. I care deeply about everyone that I encounter, students, colleagues, and strangers alike. For all of my students, I spend countless hours thinking of how I can help them realise their talents, overcome their shortcomings, and persevere through adversity. There's nothing I want more than to ensure each and everyone of their successes. At times, this may manifest in frustration, when I don't feel like I've accomplished those things. However, students don't understand that my frustrations are never with them, but with me. With my inability to be "that" teacher in their life to inspire and make change.
This quest will not end with this observation nor this post. This is year nine of my teaching career, and I have many more wonderful days ahead to make my students believe. Here's to trying.
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